What really happens when you call an interior designer — and why it feels nothing like you'd expect
The biggest barrier to working with an interior designer isn't budget or timing. It's not knowing what you're actually signing up for. Here's exactly what to expect — from that first call to the moment your project takes shape.
By Tor Cooper · 6 min read · Interior Design Brighton, Behind the Scenes, Working with a Designer, Interior Design Process
There are lots of reasons why it takes time to get updates to your home underway. Life can get in the way a lot but often its because of the unknown. Not knowing what to tackle first, or what trades you might need to help, or who to turn to for advice. And an interior designer can really help you out here but then the worry is that a designer will want to spend your hard earned cash on the accessories. And if not that then what will they be doing? I want to tell you about a client I spoke to last year about this exact issue. They'd saved things on Pinterest. They'd walked around their house making mental notes. They'd mentioned it to their partner, who'd said "yes, definitely, we should do something about the downstairs rooms" and then nothing happened. And the reason nothing happened was that they had absolutely no idea what would be said if they picked up the phone.
What would I ask them? Would they need to have decisions made already? Would they feel judged for the existing décor or for not having used a designer before? Was there a minimum spend? Would I design something they could not possibly afford? Or like? Would I come to the house immediately, or send a quote, or ask for a brief — and what even was a brief?
This is, in my experience, almost universal. The people who would benefit most from working with an interior designer are often the ones who wait longest to make contact — not because they're not ready, but because the process feels woolly. And the unknown always feels like a risk.
So here's what actually happens.
Photo Credit: DEN LIFE interiors and Limelight Interior Photography
Before we speak
When someone gets in touch with DEN LIFE — whether through the website, Instagram, or a personal recommendation — the first thing I do is suggest an informal chat - a short discovery call, usually around 30 minutes and always free of charge. Not a consultation, not a site visit, not a quote. A conversation.
There's no agenda to send in advance and no homework to do. In 30 minutes I can listen to what you need, understand what's not working, and give you a clearer sense of how I could help — before we get into any detail at all.
What I'm actually listening for
The questions I ask on a call are not the ones most people expect. I'm not asking for dimensions. I'm not asking about the budget straight away (though we do get there). I'm not asking what your style is, because honestly, most people find that question paralysing and working out your aesthetic is my job, not yours
What I'm listening for is something more like: how do you live? What happens in this room on a Tuesday evening? Where do you eat when it's just the two of you, versus when you have people over? What's the one thing about your home that you'd change tomorrow if you could? How can I best help you get what you need?
The answers to those questions tell me so much. They tell me where the friction is. And friction — the small, daily irritations that we've learned to tolerate — is almost always where the most meaningful design work happens.
The best design doesn't start with aesthetics. It starts with honestly understanding how someone actually lives — and what's getting in the way.
Photo Credit: Pixabay
What happens next - and what comes after
A discovery call doesn't commit either party to anything. That's important and I want to say it clearly: you are not signing a contract by speaking to me. You are not agreeing to a budget or a timeline. You are having a conversation.
Depending on the scope of your project, we might follow up with a more in-depth call, a visit, or — if I already have enough from our conversation — an outline estimate. Either way, I'll send a short summary of what I heard and what I'd suggest as a next step.
Sometimes it's a single-room consultation. Sometimes it's a conversation that clarifies you're not quite ready yet — and that's a perfectly good outcome too.
What you'll leave with
A clear sense of what your project might look like, and what working together would actually involve.
What I'll leave with
A genuine understanding of your home, how you live in it, and whether I'm the right designer for what you need.
What it costs
Nothing. Discovery calls are always free, always without obligation, and always worth 30 minutes of your time.
Photo Credit: DEN LIFE interiors
The Discovery Session - where your design really begins
Once you've agreed on scope and approach, we move into the Discovery Session, one of the most important stages of the entire process. This is where I look at how you live, at what’s not working and how the home is set up for you. I use my expertise and knowledge to unpick the details and make sense of everything.
A moodboard is never where we begin. We start with how you live your life. Then I understand what you need to make the design work for you. This is why no two projects are ever the same. They can’t be as they belong to different people with different needs.
So I send over a Discovery Pack ahead of our session full of questions to help start you thinking about how you live, what is important to you. Practical questions. East to answer questions. No asking you to tell me your combined style as a couple or how you would envisage the space. And then we spend 2 hours (at your home or online) going through it all. We talk, I get to know you properly and we explore what’s needed. It’s not frightening, it’s often eye opening and most clients will say it's genuinely enjoyable. This is the point you finally feel that your dream home is becoming real.
Photo Credit: DEN LIFE interiors
The moment it usually clicks
If I had £1 for every time a client says’ oh god excuse the mess’ I would be living a very fancy life. But that is what I need. I need to see your real life. There is no judgement from me. My home is not pristine. Whose is? I love the reality. It helps me see where those friction points are, where you need more storage or space to move. It’s all useful.
There's a point in almost every discovery session — and I notice it every time — where something shifts. It's usually when clients stop explaining their home and start explaining how they feel about it.
It moves from "the kitchen is quite small and it faces north so it's a bit dark" to "I actually find it quite depressing to spend time in there, which is ridiculous because I love cooking." That's the moment. Not the north-facing kitchen (I understand all of that already) — the fact that someone who loves cooking dreads going into their kitchen. That's a problem worth solving.
With the client I mentioned at the beginning — the one who waited eight months — that moment came when they said:
I think I just want to feel proud of it. When people come over, I want to feel like the house reflects who we actually are, not who we were when we moved in ten years ago.
That's not an interior design brief. That's a very human thing. And it's the kind of clarity that you simply can't arrive at through a website contact form or a mood board alone. It needs a conversation.
Photo Credit: DEN LIFE interiors: and Limelight Interiors Photography
Then depending on which service you chose to work with me on we build from there. Every client gets the same treatment from a Power Hour Consultation to help you unstick on your interiors through to a full design and implementation where I support from start to finish.
That Discovery session is the backbone of the design, its how I clarify your vision, give it real shape, and map out exactly what needs to happen next to make it a reality. It's suitable for any project size — a blank-canvas new build, reimagining your existing home, or just one or two rooms — scaled and adapted to suit the scope of your project.
That’s the benefit of a designer. I help pull that idea of your perfect space out of your head and turn it into an actionable plan.
Photo Credit: DEN LIFE interiors
The question almost everyone asks - and what the answer actually is
Before I finish, I want to address the question that comes up in almost every discovery call at some point — usually near the end, and usually a little hesitantly:
Are we the kind of people you work with?
It's not always phrased exactly like that. It comes disguised as questions about minimum budgets, or project sizes, or whether a single room is worth my time. But what people are really asking is: are we too small, too indecisive, too ordinary for this?
The answer is no. Always. The clients I work with are not people who have unlimited budgets and blank-canvas homes. They are people who care deeply about where they live and want help making it right. That's it. That's the brief.
If that's you — even a little bit — the call is worth making.
Photo Credit: Limelight Interiors Photography
Curious? Let's talk! I promise it won't hurt! Working with an interior designer in Brighton and Hove starts here!
Or you can dive into more information about the sorts of services I offer here. Or check out how I have helped lots of other clients and the diverse range of comments they give as to how I helped on my testimonials here.
As I said - every client is different - and for me that's the joy. So please do enjoy September, back to the routines, and see you in October.
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